Stop trying to make Serverless a thing

Another week, another suggestion to use Azure Functions over WebJobs. I took the bait and went off to do the research.

2 minutes in, Azure Functions are Web Jobs, Azure Functions are built on top of the Azure Web Jobs foundation.

serverless meme

Case closed? No...
You see this problem occurs because of many factors.

Developer Advocates are sales people.
If you use LinkedIn you know the best recruiters, have some technical background. They know the difference between Java and JavaScript.
Likewise, you know these advocates. They know what they're talking about, they're celebrities to you and their validation of your approach/work gives you comfort.

Solving Imaginary Scaling Issues (at scale)
Just stop. A process can be complex but it doesn't need to be complicated.
You can scale up to 2 instances, or increase the amount of resources that a single instance has or maybe just enable HTTP/2.
Always determine the ROI of any approach.

RTFM
Start at the documentation. Azure Functions are not cheaper than WebJobs because App Service plans that have no apps associated with them still incur charges because they continue to reserve the configured VM instances.
Azure App Service plan overview
Inside the Azure App Service Architecture